May 20, 2013

Posted by in Writing | 3 Comments

Resolutions

            Sometimes, for a person to find the motivation in life to make changes, it doesn’t take one large event, but rather a series of events in short succession. In fact, I’m rather under the notion such a thing is necessary. To really drive home a need for resolution, impact in more than one area of life must be sustained.

            I’ve been stuck in a rather unusual rut lately – a rut of slow and steady accomplishment. It sounds weird to say it, but it’s true. This year, I have finished a fourth original novel and started the process of querying agents again (27 so far without luck), I’ve lost another ten pounds (bringing my total to 70 and within 25 of my ultimate goal), I’ve come within a hair of obtaining my CPA license after two and half years of struggle, and I’ve restarted my previously stalled effort to master a second language. In less than two months I’ll see my best friend in the world married to the girl he absolutely needed, I’ll be visiting my fiftieth state, and, with accounting license in hand, I’ll be substantially rewarded by my firm.

            It took a marathon of Anne of Green Gables on a fine Sunday to remind me how little satisfaction all that accomplishment has actually provided. I apologize to those certain people who wanted to watch it with me after I got the DVDs, but a man who loves the story must enjoy it alone. Otherwise, the resulting display will never be lived down. 🙂 I’ve watched the movies many times, and it always gets to me, because I find a… kindred spirit… in the protagonist.

            Anne (who also struggled to get published. Her rejection letter scenes were poignant) went searching for accomplishment and ideal adventures, but she was never truly happy until she set her eyes on home and remembered what was important. Confronted by lonely people like Katherine Brooke and Martin Harris, she realized her own loneliness, unwilling to accept it for so long because she held onto fanciful notions and forgot about the things that mattered.

            I was inspired by the movies, but it took other events, such as two people leaving my firm and yet another rejection letter, to offer me the new resolve I needed. Resolve to remember what matters. God has given me a wealth of accomplishment, and while my time to be able to say this is very short now, I’m not even 30 yet. But I wasn’t truly happy, because I often forgot to look home. To love and praise Jesus, share life with others in contentment, and be satisfied, regardless of what happens next. I have Avonlea, but it was never enough. After all, I may not be published (yet), but I’ve still written books!

            So, I am still going to move forward and work toward the goals on which I’ve set my eyes, but I’d like to think I’m different now. And from all this, I’ve made some new resolutions. One is to start work on a new novel, something different and more grand than anything I had ever dreamed of before. And the other is to be content with the things I’ve already done, regardless of the road bumps.

            … but seriously, I’m going to get published.

 

John 3:16